people who market tumblr as a “fandom website” are missing the fact that the fandom tags are essentially unusable because you cannot venture into them without seeing a take so bad you want to throw up
Couples are always hiring me to stand next to their fake electric fireplaces and pop my knuckles, knees, hips, etc to simulate the sound of a real log burning. They can enjoy a few romantic nights this way but inevitably one or both of them develops an insatiable lust for my hypermobile and easily-injured joints and their relationship falls apart
“I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment we raced each other in that park. I’ve loved you at every dance, on every walk, every time we’ve been together, and every time we’ve been apart. You do not have to accept it or embrace it or even allow it. Knowing you, you probably will not. But you must know it, in your heart. You must feel it because I do. I love you. I want a life that suits us both. I know I am imperfect, but I will humble myself before you, because I cannot imagine my life without you, and that is why I wish to marry you.”
